DIVING OFFICERS REPORT  (for the year to October, 2003)

Shalom Prima dudes.

I have been requested by the committee to recall in print, what you amazing crowd have done this year on the diving scene.

Today was a typical example.  Greg and Eddie were desperately keen to dive the crystal clear waters of Blithfield (lie mode cancel) and I of course was keen to marshal.  After several attempts at the buddy system which involved some twenty or so descents/assents in as many minutes our pair gave up.  "Can you sign me up for nil viz diving" said Eddie I told him sod off, the viz wasn't that good!!  Not being put off, they then took part in solo rope diving by the BSAC book. Nice job lads.

At the start of the year The Black Sheep asked how many dives I anticipated for Prima in 2003.  He thought my reply of 1200 plus rather ambitious at the time but not any more.  Bit of an improvement on 2002 eh!  With a large proportion done in the sea to boot. 

Let's have a look at what has gone down to date.

After Red Sea magic came Challaborough, twice.  The first session was a full blow off on the west but by towing the boat and mooring it at Brixham a full compliment of dives was secured.  The new trainees took to the sea and boat diving as if they were born to it.  We also celebrated Lin's birthday.  With coffee and biscuits you understand. (Lie mode cancel again).  There was some alcohol about I believe, like Clives 25 year old malt which Lin poured in her coffee.  The poor guy went into shock.

Fortunately for some I missed the second trip, but the weather was kinder.  The jammy beggars did what we should have done on the first trip, i.e. the incredible Louis Shied and the Persier.  Clive wisely kept a padlock on his whiskey

By now as you can imagine, everyone was looking forward to their respective holidays.  In the case of Lin and myself, Mull and Skye.  We knew Mull was sound (a little attempted humour there) but Skye was an unknown quantity.  After a few superb dives in the sound it was time for the party to split.  The majority drove to our new base on Skye.  Sue, Liz, John, Paul and myself accompanied Alan and George aboard the Peregrine on an eventful voyage.  Despite the horrific wind and rain we managed to dive Canna and Muck.  Luckily the viz underwater was better than above.  Paul thought we had reached the edge of the world.  Despite the weather we all felt privileged to see beautiful remote islands out of site of those on land.  Our little bay where we were staying on Skye looked a picture from the sea, but the house!  The house was luxury and self-catering paradise.  Every inch of space was carefully packed with beer, wine and food in that order.

Diving was spectacular and our divers as ever performed well, or most of the time.  Clive and Paul managed to cover themselves with the entire contents of an SMB reel at 30m. 'Must take years of practice'.  The cookery took no practice what so ever.  Fresh crab, scallops, crayfish and pollack, with the occasional curry, in front of a log fire proved to be a nice way to relax after a hard days diving.  We really didn't want to leave, but the superb dive on the Port Napier on the way back made it worse.  Dosthill after this would be traumatic.  Speaking of trauma, Clives mega torches croaked inside the wreck.  Not however before they had increased the surrounding water temperature by a full 5°C.  He made his way out in the dark by penetration line.

On returning home plans were laid down for our second trip a few weeks later.  When I say "plans", I mean the stocking up of provisions, primarily large quantities of serious real ale, then food.  Lin took advantage of every special offer, like buy 10 get 10 free.  Do you know, she hid the beer, swearing I would drink it before we went away, swine, give a dog a bad name!  The Great day came, along with the joyful task of loading up 'Star Bug'.  "Will all this food, beer and 6 sets of diving gear fit in the van Al" asked Lin?  As you might guess, the trip up was to involve diving the P.N. but not before stopping at the 'Green Wellie'.  They sell these special sipping malts that guarantee your eyesight will return after only 2 days.  Especially if kept away from coffee. 

What a pretty wreck the Port Napier is.  What a super dive we had. Some penetrated, some swam through the holes.  I teamed up with Roy, together with Katherine and Victoria (absolute naturals and soon to be joining our ranks).  Loath to depart from what must be one of our favourite sites, we headed for Camas Mor once again on Skye.  Some hours later many eager hands unloaded the precious cargo and tried desperately to make our temporary home look like something other than a very posh off licence.  Unfortunately all the other vehicles on the premises contained their own little cache of neck oil.  In walked Clive with 24 bottles of hobgoblin, which he bought in case and said, "have we got to drink all this? Bugger!"

Lots of diving was done as before with one or two additions just to liven things up.  One dive in particular requires a mention, with none other than Clive in the limelight again, this time with Diane. A delayed SMB ascent turned into 'rats poo' when our hero's sausage floated swiftly downwards.  They did, as you might gather, make it back to the surface.  Clive tied up with string again and Diane, mask flooded, laughing at him.  At the same time yours truly and Greg (more about him later) were treated to a very hairy drift dive, starting at 53m.  Ask him about it.  The rest of the mob behaved very well and dived professionally or so they tell me. Perhaps they too have lie mode.

As always, fresh food from the sea was mandatory.  Goody bags on delayed SMB became the norm and one in particular, infamous.  With 90% of its length submerged (weighted down with scollies) we knew it heralded the assent of Greg, buddy and dinner.  Back on shore new talents emerged from unknown sources in the kitchen.  Some bright aquanaut had the idea of a barbecue.  Roy got things going, er literally. Back in the kitchen two concerned teenagers said "Al don't let dad near the barbecue" Too late! Sausages looked like they had been cooked by a blind man in a blast furnace.  Greg took over frying scallop flavoured garlic in shells.  Be assured we didn't starve.  Throughout the stay we were treated to the likes of Tandouri pollack, sweet and sour prawns, knee trembler barbecued mackerel and some very outrageous sweets.  Then from out of the blue, an inspired Chris came up with scollies in garlic folded in bacon.  Oh naughty, naughty, botty spanking wicked.

Obviously we did the PN on the way back and the beer? What beer was that?  Although our fun was over, on the brighter side our two star boatmen Alan and George have not banned us from the boat and look forward to seeing us in 2004.  Brave men!  Mind you Alan had reservations regarding Chris, after he threw away the largest fish of the two trips and kept the smallest. If he ever has kids don't let him bath them!

I surpose after this lot you would expect Hodges Close to be an anti-climax.  How wrong you would be. A pretty place, a delightful dive and our real ale specialists, Ian and Tony ensured everyone was well sorted. We even dived the river Lune.  Congratulations lads, a wicked weekend, much more please.  Incidentally dudes, young Sam/Eric seems to have a taste for real ale.  Can't imagine from where.

Needless to say, this is only part of the Prima adventures for the year.  John and merry band of divers left for the Farnes with the club boat and a smile on their faces. They returned with even bigger smiles, so I assume a bostin time was had.  Phil and Jessamy have their diving holiday tales to tell, as have Carl, Tony and lads.  Not to be outdone Sue and Rich Mace carried our banner to far-away Thailand, nice going.  Dave and Diane Spriggs managed to sneak in another four holiday dives in Greecie waters and Roy JC was taken in at Florida by his girls.

At this point in time incidentally the numbers have been added up and the Dive Monster for 2003 is ------------ a secret known only to the Black Sheep and myself.  However I will confess that the lead for the 2004 monster is occupied by Ian with 18, yes 18 Indian Ocean dives.  Can Tony or Julie improve on this with their Caribbean exploits and will Sam develop a taste for rum.  Taking of bets on the latter is forbidden.

No that's not it! Patience! Just because you're fed up of reading this.  Lin and I have finally completed our advanced IANTD nitrox course.  About time ''you say".

Some year don't you think?

I must tell of one particular day when four of our divers made me proud to be D.O. of Prima S.A.  On a Dive Planning and Marshalling course our boat broke down.  All of the Roy Chambers expertise and my swearing could not repair it.  So our star advanced diver candidates had to rehash all plans along with their Phoenix counterparts.  Eight remarkable divers planned and executed both shore and boat dives, which went like clockwork.  What a team, they being; Chris, Graham, Phil K and Roy JC for Prima and Sue, Nigel, Pete and Andy from Phoenix.  The course was bossed by Rob Marshall, an absolute diamond Dude of unspeakable experience, which he delights in passing on.  Many thanks Rob.

Thankfully the writing has stopped, but the diving hasn't. 

Be in touch.

Al